I know that many others have already written about the technical inaccuracies in CBS' new show scorpion, but I felt that I had to get my critique out there as well.
For anyone who hasn't seen the promos, the show, or anything else - Scorpion is a new Fall 2014 show about the exploits of a group of geniuses supposedly based on the real-life of "world-class genius". The main characters include a math whiz, a mechanical genius, a world-class hacker and a psychologist who acts more like a con artists (and stalker - but that's a whole different show).
The first episode's plot line centered around the catastrophic failure of a software upgrade that only affected 3 airports in/around LAX. I guess patch testing isn't part of the SOPs for California airports in this TV reality. The Feds finds this group of elite geniuses and recruits them to save the lives of all the passengers on the flights that could not be diverted to other airports for landing because they were on final approach and out of coms range.
Wait a minute - - these planes that could not be diverted have been circling airports for 40 minutes waiting for landing instructions. After about 20 minutes, wouldn't you think to go somewhere else? Or the wireless network on most planes these days? And aren't there back-up communications in planes?
So now our team of plucky hackers set off in the obligatory black SUVs to drive to the nearest airport to save the day. But, plot twist - the traffic on the highway is terrible and they won't be able to get to LAX before the planes run out of fuel and start to fall out of the sky. No explanation of why the other 2 airports affected by this bad software update aren't usable. It's the Feds can't they find an alternate route or use the emergency lanes? One of the characters does suggest a helicopter, but those are all grounded because of the air traffic issue.
So, our main hacker hero comes to the rescue with his brilliant idea that he could hack into the airport using a wireless network - it just has to be completely stable. And, as luck would have it - he was just at a diner fixing their wireless network so it is now the most stable connection available.
Why wireless? Wouldn't you be better off with a wired network that you could lock the rest of city out of instead of an open wireless network run from a diner? Doesn't Homeland Security have secure networks? I suppose we need to understand the true genius of our hero who can make sure a wireless connection is the most stable in the world and doesn't ever drop packets.
On to our hacking scene - within moments, the airport's physical security network has been compromised (we know this because the hacker needs the cameras to show what the people in air traffic control are doing). Why he must watch people type into computers is left ass an exercise for the viewer.
Get the Air traffic control supervisor on the phone and instruct him to find the original installation disc for the software. Angry supervisor who doesn't believe this guy on the phone points out that the software is 15 years old and the company who made it doesn't even exist anymore!
Wow! Who is sending you software updates again? Do you just install anything from anyone without testing the software or having a recovery plane. Not that I haven't seen companies that would do this - but still!
Now we will start with the stereotypes - grumpy supervisor is computer illiterate and unable to type. So look for the white, nerdy guy with glasses since he must be a coder. *sigh*
So, here were are: planes are going to start falling out of the sky any minute, we have no base install for this highly critical software, and the company who makes it no longer exists (they just send out ghost updates). But wait! We have an automated backup system. The day is saved.
Next plot twist - backups are overwritten every 12 hours! And we only have 20 minutes before the next one happens! (I guess they haven't heard of backup rotation schedules yet - its only 2014). Can you really get anywhere in LA in 20 minutes?
So, we could go ahead and cancel the backup, or disconnect the airport system from the network so the next backup doesn't happen or, connect to the backup network ourselves to get a copy of yesterday's software , or call the backup vendor - but where's the fun in that? Lets race to the backup center to find the 1 tape that has a good copy of the software. Miraculously, the traffic has cleared at this point - so we arrive with 6 minutes to spare. But wait - since we didn't call the backup vendor, we show up to find that the "data center" is in what looks to be a self storage facility (no front doors, no reception, no security) is closed on Sunday and the entry door is locked with an electronic keypad that our mechanical expert can't break in time.
We're all doomed. Arm the fighter jest, blow those planes out of the sky! Of course, our main hacker genius will save the day. If you send a power surge to the keypad it will blow the lock and open the doors. Wait, what? A power surge will cause all the doors in a secure storage facility to open?
We're saved - find the drive in the server farm (did you notice none of the server cages are locked? Someone might need to review the security guidelines for that data center). Now it's a race back to the diner to hand over the drive because they couldn't connect it to a computer at the facility, or one of the laptops they have been using to hack and copy the data - only the diner will do.
Arrive back at the diner, with the backup drive (the one that was yanked out of a server - no problem there!) find the file, and start the transfer! Uh oh - data corruption? What happened? Well, our unwitting psychologist put the drive in the side pocket of the SUV for safe keeping - didn't he know that speakers in a car will erase data storage? Next….
All the planes have a copy of the air traffic software! Just copy it from one of those. But only the ones that have been in the air for a long time (i.e. an international flight from Australia), because everyone else has been corrupted!
Huh? Only the ones still that have been flying for hours are good? What about all the planes that you diverted to land at other airports? What about the ones that are in for maintenance? Heck, what about all the other airports in the country? You really expect me to believe that every airport facility has their own special version of software and all the planes have copies of every one?
Now that we have our solution, how to get the software from the plane back to air traffic center, then pushed back out to all the other planes? (I don't remember why the Wi-Fi on the plane doesn't work - but that's a no go). In comes our psychologist - he will find the one person on the plane who has a cell phone that still works. On to profiling - has to be someone over 50 because they are the ones with the old phones, can't have lots of money (again - old phone). Somehow, we have full access to the flight manifest and find the older salesman who has left his phone on. And somehow, even after a 15 hour transcontinental flight, still has power. (I've accidentally left my phone on during a flight, and have no battery after about 3 hours - I need that guy's phone!)
Lets give him a call so we can talk to the pilot. But wait, if we can talk to pilots - couldn't we just direct them to land? Never mind - too logical.
Off to the airport in the diner waitress's car (why use Fed cars with lights/sirens/horsepower?) this time using magic hacker skills to change all the traffic lights as we race through the city. At least they did show that changing the lights doesn't mean all the traffic instantly stops. Just to add a little more drama though, one light can't be changed (no explanation of why - it just doesn't).
At the airport - the Wi-Fi (somehow it works now) is too far away/too fast to get the one file that we need. Not sure what wireless network this is - maybe there's a wireless network that only works within the plane & the replicate the internet for all of us who connect and pay $$ for connectivity when we travel.
Let's steal a car that just happens to be parked on the tarmac and race under the plane while the co-pilot strings out a network cable down through the wheel bay to connect to the laptop our waitress is holding. Who knew that all airplanes came equipped with 200ft network cables!
I will probably still watch the show, partly so I can throw fake bricks at the TV (does any one else remember those??) As an IT/Cyber Security person I will watch it as a spoof on what my job really is, it's entertaining! But maybe, they could get an IT/Cyber Security consultant on the show to remove some of the more ridiculous twists?
